信主十三年了,還記得1991年11月是在紅磡香港體育館舉行的彩虹佈道會中決志信主的。當時決志信主其實也是知其然而不知其所以然的,只是覺得基督教的教義好像聽起來還是蠻不錯的,而且自己一方面相信真神的存在,另一方面也實在很想更進一步去了解這個信仰,就舉手跑出去決志了。﹝後來才知道以我當時的情況,應該先去參加慕道班,清楚了解信仰後才決志的。﹞
在信仰的路上經歷了很多很多,可幸的是對信仰的信念仍能持守,可恨的是根基還是太淺,身上沒帶著半分基督徒的影子。聖靈九果裏所提到的仁愛、喜樂、和平、忍耐、恩慈、良善、信實、溫柔、節制,在自己身上沒能找到一丁點的痕跡。
這些年來越來越覺得神給我的每一項經歷、認識的每一個人都是帶著祂的祝福的。就算有些事情在發生的時候感覺萬分痛苦,可是當安靜下來之後,也總是會看到神的美好安排的。每長一歲,就對聖經經文中「凡事謝恩」這句話有更深一層的體會。
已經記不起是在甚麼情形下看到這篇短文了,可是當中所傳達的強烈訊息多年來卻是深深的烙印在心上‧‧‧
神說不 | AND GOD SAID “NO" |
我求神拿走我的驕傲, 神說不。 祂說,驕傲不是由祂拿走的, 乃是要我放下的。 |
I asked God to take away my pride. And God said ‘No’ He said it was not for him to take away But for me to give up |
我求神使我殘障的小孩健全, 神說不。 祂說,她的靈是健全的, 她的身體只是暫時的。 |
I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. And God said “No". He said her spirit is whole, Her body is temporary. |
我求神賜我忍耐, 神說不。 祂說,忍耐是從患難而生, 不是賜下的,乃是磨練而來的。 |
I asked God to grant me patience. And God said “No". He said patience is a by-product of Tribulation; It isn’t granted, it’s earned. |
我求神給我快樂, 神說不。 祂說,祂賜祝福, 是否快樂,取決於我。 |
I asked God to give me happiness. And God said “No". He said He gives me blessing, Happiness is up to me. |
我求神免我受苦, 神說不。 祂說,痛苦使你遠離世俗的掛慮, 更加親近我。 |
I asked God to spare me pain. And God said “No". He said suffering draws you apart from worldly cares And brings you closer to me. |
我求神使我的靈命長進, 神說不。 祂說,我自己必須付出努力, 但祂會把我修剪,好結果子。 |
I asked God to make my spirit grow. And God said “No". He said I must grow in my own, But He will prune me to make me merciful. |
我問神,祂愛我嗎? 神說,是的。 祂賜下祂的獨生兒子,為我而死。 有一天,我必在天國裡, 因為……我信。 |
I asked God if He loves me And God said “Yes". He gave me His only son who died for me. And I will be in heaven someday Because I believe in Him |
我求神幫助我愛其他人 好像祂愛我一樣, 神說, 啊,您終於明白了。 |
I asked God to help me love others As much as He loves me And God said “Ah, finally you have the idea". |
‧‧‧在我處於靈性低潮時,這篇短文總會給我一個當頭棒喝,有如醍醐灌頂,叫我從新看到亮光‧‧‧